Wishes

[angelfeather]

Angelfeather padded into the part of the sky where she could watch over WindClan. The pretty white and silver she-cat sat down unhappily and curled her tail over her paws with a sigh. I wish I wasn't dead yet, she thought for what had to be the billionth time. It was true though. Angelfeather missed WindClan so much that sometimes she couldn't even stand it! It is nice up here, though, she thought sheepishly. I shouldn't be complaining. Angelfeather sighed again and turned her attention to the cats down below. She watched some of her former clanmates do the dawn patrol, some more on a hunting patrol, the apprentices scuffling in the camp, the medicine cat. The former WindClan warrior felt pain stab through her heart as she watched her old friends sitting in a circle, talking and laughing. Have they all forgotten about me?

[Dreamstar♫]

"Still thinking about WindClan, Angelfeather?," A wind chime voice asked. A gray she-cat appeared moments later next to the former WindClan warrior, her sapphire eyes sympathetic as she followed the warrior's gaze. "They haven't forgotten about you, you know," She commented, guessing the she-cat's thoughts. Most of the cats that joined them always had the same skeptical and depressed ideas, so Dreamstar didn't have to ask anymore about what they were thinking. It's clear enough on her face anyways. Most of them were open books, but it was to be expected. Being a StarClanner wasn't something that came naturally.


[bleh, icky post. Sorry hun =/ But I thought you might use some company so I joined your thread ]

[angelfeather]

Angelfeather stared blankly up at Dreamstar. "How can you be sure?" she whispered, not trusting her voice to hold if she tried louder tones. She didn't see how this could be true. The silver and white warrior turned her attention back to the moor, her blue eyes distant. She abruptly faced Dreamstar again, and whispered, "Do you really think so?" Angelfeather wasn't a pessimistic cat; she wanted to believe Dreamstar's words. A feeling of hope glimmered in her heart, and she tried to suppress it. Don't get your hopes up... she told herself. Angelfeather really didn't see the need of getting hopeful and then crushed again. She sighed. I'd give anything to talk to them again... she thought.

[Dreamstar♫]

The grey she-cat positioned herself so that she was facing the moor's surface a little more then Angelfeather. "Past experiences," She replied, her sapphire eyes now gazing curiously over the unsuspecting WindClan cats below. Even though she had seen this scene more then a hundred times, her own urge to be with her previous clan made her insides crumple slightly around the edges. It had been so long since she had roamed the forest grounds...even though her previous clan had been ThunderClan. The grey she-cat sighed internally and pushed the hollow feeling to the back of her mind. She had been Dreamchaser then, things were different now. StarClan needed her...in some way or another.


Her sapphire gaze flickered back to Angelfeather, realizing she hadn't explained herself enough for the she-cat to understand. "Have you forgotten what it was like to experience death when you were alive?," She asked, answering the she-cat's pained curiosity with another question. To come straight out and say it seemed to defeat the purpose of the answer.

[angelfeather]

Angelfeather turned to the gray she-cat. "No," she whispered, "I still remember." Images of blunt badger claws and the pain of having her throat and stomach ripped open flooded through her brain. She remembered that she hadn't thought to wait for re-enforcements. Without realizing that Dreamstar probably wouldn't have a clue what she was talking about, she murmured, "I never thought that it was my time until it was far too late." Angelfeather had not yet turned to look at Dreamstar; she did so now, longing for the feeling that she knew what Angelfeather was talking about. I've never needed to be understood so much before, Angelfeather realized. The former WindClan warrior wondered what her clan mates would think about her if they could see.

[Dreamstar♫]

Dreamstar nodded thoughtfully. "That is something to consider, but not exactly what I meant." She padded closer to where Angelfeather sat and flicked her tail in the direction of the hunting patrol below. "When you experience death in the Clans, grieving isn't always the right thing to do...no matter how much you wish you could." Her sapphire eyes followed the WindClan hunting party as they picked up the scent of a couple rabbits. She remembered exactly how death was in the clans. Not only had she gone about death the hard way, but she also knew what it was to finally accept it and move on.

The grey she-cat looked back over to Angelfeather and smiled sympathetically. "Grieving for too long about something isn't good for anyone in a clan. Not only does grieving bring the cat down, but it also effects the clan. Clans put death aside so they can get stronger and move on." Dreamstar's voice became very motherly toward the end as she tried to explain. It was just in her nature to be sympathetic and motherly. She placed her tail genitally on the she-cat's shoulder and smiled comfortingly. "That's why they hold vigil; so the clan can grieve and then move on. It makes them stronger to deal with these types of things. But don't ever think that they have forgotten you. They're just trying to do what's best for the clan and themselves."

[angelfeather]

"Oh," Angelfeather meowed, realizing what Dreamstar had meant. "I see, and yes, I do remember." Angelfeather was lost in memories of the WindClan cats who had died while she had been alive. I guess I was being selfish and rude to think that they should continue to grieve for me, Angelfeather thought, fur prickling with embarrassment. The pretty she-cat shook her fur and tried to displace the feeling. I'll think about that another time, when I'm alone.

Wanting now to make conversation with Dreamstar, Angelfeather meowed, "How did you die? If you don't mind my asking, that is." She had realized too late that the StarClan leader may not want to talk about it. It would always be a touchy subject with herself, she knew that, but she recalled that talking about dying was supposed to help cats get over it. Right now, that's the best thing that could happen to me, Angelfeather thought grimly.

[Dreamstar♫]

The gray she-cat smiled sweetly down to the Angelfeather, happy that the she-cat finally understood. "I don't mind at all," She replied. Dreamstar shifted again so she was facing Angelfeather, her sapphire eyes still brimming with motherly affection as she spoke. "I died protecting my kits. A band of rogues attacked the camp and broke into the nursery..." She trailed off slightly, remembering her last moments again. It was something she thought about often, but not something she was regretful of. No...never regretful.

Dreamstar looked back down to Angelfeather and smiled again. "Others think that's why I'm the way I am- being so motherly all the time," She added. Death never bothered her anymore...just the effects it had on some people. She could talk about her death easily; it never bothered her like it did so many others. "I don't regret what I did, nor do I wish I could change things now." She shrugged and smiled again as she looked down to the WindClan cats again. "Everything happens for a reason"


[Bleh...]

[angelfeather]

Angelfeather looked up at Dreamstar. She hadn't known that about the other she-cat, and she was glad she did. "Wow. That's so brave," she mewed, wondering if she would have been able to do the same thing. Her silver-rimmed ears flicked in admiration but she didn't say anything else about it. The WindClan cat knew that there were no words she could say right now to sum up what she felt inside at the moment. Instead, she changed the subject. "At least WindClan seems to be getting along without me," she purred jokingly, remembering the painful pangs she had felt when a cat had accidentally called her name for a dawn patrol or hunting patrol and she hadn't been there to answer.

[Dreamstar♫]

The gray she-cat's wind chime laugh echoed around them. "Not brave really," She amended, shaking her head. Bravery had never crossed her mind when she did it...or afterward for that matter. "It was just...a necessity." Dreamstar's gaze flickered back to Angelfeather, still smiling. The poor she-cat had trouble adjusting like everyone else, but that didn't make Dreamstar feel any better about it. At least talking to her seemed to do something. "They're my kits; it was just something I had to do."

The she-cat nodded, smiling at Angelfeather's change in tone. "As hard as it may be for them, they will carry on." She tried to make the words sound as comforting as possible...but she didn't know if it worked or not.


[bleh...]