Being Alone (private)

[Ashkit]

The sun was growing a golden orange as it set over the RiverClan territory. On the edge of the ShadowClan territory, A silver outline of a kit sat curled up on a thick branch of a pine tree, looking off in the distance. Toward the mountains, the lake, anywhere but back toward camp. He had come to the edge of the pine forest to look out upon the lake in peace, to explore. But most importantly- to get away from his sister, Nightkit, and his mother, Bushtail.

Ashkit had never once yelled at his siblings. Never been rude, never been competitive. So the fact that he had yelled at Nightkit, the youngest, made him feel awkward in a way. The silver kit had always looked out for his siblings...that was what the oldest did. But he had always had a soft spot for Nightkit.

Lately, however, Ashkit had been a little more then irritated with her negativity about her eye sight. She always seemed to find a way to work her inability to see well into every conversation. To be negative about their rising apprentice ceremony. To not even try to be more then what she was. Why was he the only one trying-- The silver kit took a deep breath and flexed his claws, trying to relax. Lots of other cats in the forest had bad eye sight, present and past. So it absolutely irritated him to the core when Nightkit acted like she was useless. She wasn't even trying! Maybe if she would try to make something of herself, she would finally see what he was talking about. I mean, it wasn't like she was blind! She just had fuzzy eye sight--

The silver kit took another deep breath, trying to think of something else. It wasn't helping him to be upset. Ashkit laid his head down on his paws, his sapphire eyes upset and confused as they stared out across the lake, watching it change colors.

[Snakepaw]

Snakepaw trotted under the pine trees, a muskrat in his jaws. This hunt had been surprisingly successful; although lacking the training for hunting, he'd caught enough fresh-kill for half the Clan, all this twilight. But the night-black apprentice; while hunting, he had crossed the small silver kit's scent more than he wished to, and he'd even stumbled upon the zig-zagging trail while chasing a squirrel. But now, with a muskrat drowning his scent glands, he gladly hadn't found the trail again, and forgotten all about it. He sat down a the foot of a pine tree. Night was approaching quickly... and Snakepaw liked the night. It was in those dark hours that he had been able to escape his foster mother's hatred; it had been in that black gloom that he had chased Bloodfang out of the territory; and finally, it had been in that heavy silence that Crystalheart had whispered her lessons in his ears. Snakepaw's black heart liked darkness. It was his only home.

[Ashkit]

Unknowingly, the silver kit stretched his back legs across the bark of the pine tree, scraping some of the bark of the branch. He let out a small yawn and draped the right side of his body over the branch's edge, his sapphire eyes growing from irritated to lazy. Ashkit had always liked being out here alone, and this wasn't the first time he had been out here by himself. For some strange reason though, it had always been around the same time.

He stared back out at the lake, watching it change colors as the sun grew lower. More then anything, he tried not to think about his sister back at camp. The silver kit had no intentions of apologizing anytime soon. He was right for once! And he was perfectly happy waiting until she realized that.

[Snakepaw]

Snakepaw leapt up from the place where he had been sitting as bark pieces fell onto his nose, dropped the muskrat and shook his head furiously. Moss lightly rained down on him, falling on his pelt in strnage patterns. The night-black tom glared at the pieces on his pelt and growled, veyr low and threateningly, crouching. Then he shook his whole body. Snakepaw looked around, hissing, and his gaze followed the tree's trunk until he found a small silver figure outstretched on a high branch.
Oh, no! he moaned inwardly. Not the kit... Why do I always have to fall on him?
And with that, he picked his muskrat up and trotted furtively away, hoping not to be seen from the kit's high perch. Anyway, the kit wouldn't follow him, would he?


[and maybe Ashkit does follow him... for interest]

[Ashkit]

Movement from below jolted Ashkit from his daydreaming. His sapphire eyes flickered over to the retreating figure, hoping that it wasn't his mother or sister. But instead, he found the pelt of a familiar apprentice. Snakepaw? The name sounded familiar, but he wasn't quiet sure at this point. The apprentice seemed to always keep to himself, it was kind of hard to remember he was there sometimes.

Tearing himself away from his daydreaming, the silver kit wove his way to the other side of the tree, stepping onto the closest branch of the next pine. It wouldn't hurt just to follow him, right? Just to make sure he was Snakepaw and not some intruder. And if it was some intruder...Ashkit smirked impishly as he continued to weave his way through the tree tops. He would be a hero for catching a trespasser.

[Snakepaw]

Snakepaw flicked his ear back as he heard the faint cracking of a branch, but when he turned around, he saw nothing. He was a little reassured as he trotted on, although quickening the pace. At least the kit wouldn't follow him, even if he was seen. I'm too scary... he smiled, and his eyes flashed red, for a fraction of a heartbeat. Something of Bloodfang was still in him...
Bloodfang... that stupid, treaturous piece of mouse-dung... wanted to me to hep him kill Twilightstar, eh? Would name me as warrior and then deputy, eh? The idiot... he did not know who he was speaking to... or more, what he was speaking to.
The night-black apprentice absentmindedly flexed his muscles.
But Crystalheart... now that was leader material. Her heart was cold and hard as crystal... A pure ShadowClanner, she was. Wouldn't think twice before punishing those who deserved it... Never hesitated about destroying an enemy menace, or leading an offensive to take more territory... A shame that she was crushed by a tree trunk. Then again, Twilighstar is very good too. A little soft, but still a good leader.
During that silent soliloque, without noticing, Snakepaw had slowed down, and was now at a walk. A new, silver-lined figure came to his mind.
And Silversand... she was... so... weak. She was... the kindest... No.
He hastily pushed the thoughts out of his mind. They were not proper. Was he forgetting the lessons that his first two mentors had taught him? No. Of course not:
Kindness is a weakness. So is love. He knew the words by heart; Bloodfang and Crystalheart had both made sure of that... he still remembered the feeling of her claws in his pelt... Love can be used to manipulate weak cats. Make them do as you please. And when they are of no more use... "Kill them," Bloodfang had said; "Terrify them until their very soul is under your command", had hissed Crystalheart. Never let your feelings show. Never let them guess your game. Remember that your heart is black; black as the night, black as nothingness, as emptiness... "Of my heart," had murmured the dark apprentice. He still felt the pain in his nose, and he could taste the blood on his tongue. Let the anger and hatered submerge you; kill if you may, and one day... the world will be yours. The apprentice had stared up at the silver-lined, white-pekted figure, standing on the rock, passionately shouting her hatered into the night, and had bowed his head in forced admiration and submission.
Silversand had been one of those weak cats, murmured a voice in his ear. She deserved to die... But, somehow, something, like a drowning whisper, told Snakepaw that she should never have died... and instantly that whisper was shut out by the sing-song voice in his ear, repeating the lessons, one by one. Snakepaw had never heard the drowning voice before; it called to him, pleaded him, but somehow he could not listen.

Snakepaw had, wihtout realising, halted under a tree. His eyes glowed red as the sing-song voice drowned the whisper of his heart, and when that vilicious task was done, and all he heard were the lessons in his head, passing like in thos Twoleg radios, that crimson glow died down, replaced by the natural, ice-cold grey gaze.
What Snakepaw didn't know was that, deep inside him, something was changing: for the first time, the strange whisper was trying to break free from its prison. It was fighting faintly for now, weak by the moons of misuse and captivity, against the dark voices of Reason and Lessons Taught, voices that in fact belonged to two well known Darkforest cats. Even in death, the evil mentors fought for control of their pupil's mind. And if this pretentious Voice of the Heart didn't shut up and stop mixing up their prey soon enough, they would need to take radical action.


Back in the ShadowClan forest, Snakepaw settled down under on of the few oak trees and took a bite from his muskrat. The flesh was tender and juicy; a pure delicacy. The night was fresh and starlit, relieving from the heat and sun of the day.



[[oh! idea: maybe Ashkit could fall from a low branch, to surprise Snakepaw and start a conversation with him? Snakepaw would be distant, but the little kit excited, annoying and curious... or something like that. Some way, he could admire Snakepaw from then on, follow him almost everywhere... and Snakepaw, on his side would, against his own self, become kind of like Ashkit's big brother. And the voice inside him would grow stronger... until the fox event, where it will break free for the first time!
No need to follow it, just an idea like that ]]

[Ashkit]

After the shadowy figure stopped under one of the pine trees, Ashkit recognized that it was indeed Snakepaw. Letting out a small sigh, the silver kit jumped down to the lowest branch, right above the apprentice's head. "Awww man," He sighed, cuffing Snakepaw's ear with one silver paw. "I was hoping that you were an intruder I could catch." Letting out another small sigh, Ashkit jumped from the branch to the ground in front of the black apprentice, his silver fur glowing a chilling white color in the early light of the moon. "What are you doing out here all by yourself?," He asked, tilting his head slightly. His sapphire eyes stuck out from his pelt, glowing to their full potential. If someone didn't know he was harmless, the silver kit's eerie look could make him seem very intimidating. As for Snakepaw, Ashkit didn't think he looked scary at all...more lonely then anything else.

[Snakepaw]

Snakepaw was jolted out of his reverie by a high, already well-known voice. He was even more surprised when a small paw cuffed his ear playfully. Oh, noooo... he moaned inwardly. The night-black apprentice closed his eyes and hissed quietly. "Finding an intruder? You?" He gazed down at the small silver kit, snorting in mock amusement. "And I may ask the same question of you" he growled, curling his tail around his paws. The kit's eyes glowed with an eerie sheen, catching the apprentice's ice-cold gaze.

[Ashkit]

"Why not me?," He countered, his voice still light even though Snakepaw's tone seemed irritated and uninterested. "I'm just as good as anyone else." Besides, he was still an adorable little kit. If he was caught on anyone's territory, he could just play dumb. Of coarse, he knew exactly where the borders were, it was kind of hard not to notice them. But in the interest of exploring, the grey kit wouldn't mind fudging the truth a little.

Ashkit's sapphire eyes flickered back up to the pine tree, avoiding the apprentice's gaze as he answered his last question. "No reason..." He mumbled, his voice a little colder then it had been before. The last thing he really wanted to talk about was his sister... no one would really understand why he was upset anyways. No one really knew him to begin with, so he couldn't really blame them.

[Snakepaw]

Strangely, something in the back of Snakepaw's mind told him not to ask. After his mind had analysed this request, he decided to drop the subject, because he didn't care, anyway, did he?
Snakepaw's lips curled in genuine amusement. "Being a kit, I do believe that, even if you did find an intruder, no one would believe you. At least, not the warriors that should care. Maybe some meaningless apprentice would, but not those high-placed warriors," he half growled, half sighed. A voice whispered that he needn't be so crude with the kit. Another voice told him that he wasn't being mean enough.
Snakepaw's ice-cold gaze softened ever so slightly.

[Ashkit]

Ashkit flicked his tail dissmisively, his sapphire eyes turning light again for the change of subject. "I'd have proof," He countered again, feeling very argumentative. The apprentice did have a point though...no one usually listened to the kits. Sad thing was, he knew more about his clan then most of the 'high placed' warriors did. Mostly because he roamed the grounds often...but he wasn't about to advertise that anytime soon.

The grey kit turned back up to Snakepaw, tilting his head in curiousity. "You were a kit once," He pointed out. "I guess you must know from experience." He let out a reluctant sigh, even though he still believed he was right. "No one would believe me if I didn't have evidence..." And there were so many ways to get rid of evidence; Ashkit knew this from experience. Seriously, how else could anyone sneek out of camp so often?

[Snakepaw]

Snakepaw half-sighed, half-hissed. The voices were fighting again. Crystalheart seemed to be winning on... whoever that other voice was. the night-black apprentice shuddered slightly and closed his mind to the strange voices. It wasn't sane, he told himself.
Snakepaw snorted. "Even if you did have evidence, they wouldn't believe you. Or me, for that matter. I'm older than a kit, but younger than a warrior, and no one listens anyway" he growled scornfully. A thought darkened his icey eyes. "Believe me, I know." He lifted his gaze to the sky. "When you want something to be done, you have to do it yourself. The warriors just won't listen, no matter how important it may be" he hissed.

[Ashkit]

[Hope you don't mind me hitting a nerve ]

Ashkit frowned, shaking his head again. "Not really," He replied, his voice thoughtful as he remembered certain things. There had always been one cat who would take the time to listen to him... The silver kit had been devistated when she died. No one really knew how...but one day she just dissapeared. Ashkit turned back up to Snakepaw, his sapphire eyes tinted with a hint of sadness. "Silversand..." He paused for a moment, letting out a sigh. "I don't know if you knew her- she didn't talk to many cats...." Then his eyes lightened again, refusing to be sad for very long...especially with this memory. "But she always listened to me, no matter how crazy it sounded." The silver kit smiled again, trying to lighten the mood again.

[Snakepaw]

[omg, Cherry, you are the best! *squees* That was right on!]


Snakepaw suddenly tensed. His whole body went rigid. A snarl echoed, a yowl rang in his ears; his eyes closed, his claws sunk into the earth to steady himself.
Silversand...
She was a weak cat. She loved.
She listened to me... she was the only one who understood...
What? The pain? A ShadowClan cat has no pain. Your mind? You have no mind, my minion... you are my slave, you are nothing of yourself...
Go away...
There was a shriek.
How dare you... talk to me like that!
Go away... Let her speak...
Let who speak? Without me, you are lost, you are helpless, you are NOTHING!
No... She was my true mentor... my only mother... She loved me.
Humourless laughter. Then a hiss.
Your mother? Your mother? You never had a mother! You are useless alone! You would still be a suckling kit, had it not been of me! I AM YOUR ONLY MENTOR![/b]
Go away... shut up...[/i]
Silence.
You'll be sorry for this.
Go AWAY!
Fading voice.
I'll be back... it hissed.

Back in reality, Snakepaw suddenly relaxed and opened his eyes. They were sky-blue.
"Oh yes, I remember Silversand..." he murmured. the black apprentice raised his gaze to the starry sky. A shooting star whipped across the black stretch of night. "A great cat she was...", but only a memory, unfortunately.
It was the first time Snakepaw ever opened up to anyone.

[Ashkit]

[lol why thank you ^-^ I like it when I get things right =p]

Ashkit's eyes had been focused up at the sky, his sapphire eyes as big as his heart felt. "She's still here with me..." He murmured, somewhat to himself. As the shooting star shot across the night sky, the small kit smiled. "No matter where she may be, she's still there for me." Suddenly, the conflict with his sister and mother didn't seem like such a bad thing anymore. It didn't seem like something that should make him stay away from camp like he was doing.

Suddenly, it was just a conflict...

Ashkit sighed inwardly, grateful that he had finally resolved his small conflict with himself. The silver kit turned to Snakepaw again, still smiling. "Thanks for talking to me," He meowed, blinking his sapphire eyes gratefully. "It's nice to know someone still listens." A small voice in the back of his head told him something was different about the apprentice but it took Ashkit a moment to finally figure out what it was. Weren't his eyes red before? He thought, staring at the apprentice curiously. He shook his head and smiled again up at Snakepaw gratefully. Doesn't really matter...